If Jumba offered *me* a machine to automatically whisk the batter, I'd probably take him up on it, though I fear the resulting cake might be slightly radioactive!!
Nah, we have the same concept in English, though we usually say "heart & soul". But I didn't have room for that. I'm thinking of changing "useless" to "meaningless" or "worthless" if it will fit, since that's more natural English (the original Japanese is "dame" in katakana for emphasis), and maybe use future tense (which doesn't exist in Japanese, so one always has a choice when translating). I might have to shrink the font size to make something better fit.
And she doesn't mean any cakes -- just these special Ohana Day cakes. (The original Japanese reads, "Today's cakes".) This is why I wrote it as "These cakes are" and not just "Cakes are".
Okitaka! I made some slight changes to all four pages thus far. Some visual changes (slight borders around the letters when they're not in a speech bubble, for better readability), and some slight dialog changes, including the aforementioned "useless cakes" line. I think that's a bit more natural English sounding ... other than referring to parts of cakes as "sponge" and "cream". Not sure what else to call 'em though. I mean, we have "sponge cakes" and "cream cakes", so...
I'm sure by "sponge" they mean the actual cake part of a cake, and the cream is some sort of filling (they're using the same "raw cream" as they did when talking about the milk product, but the "raw" just means "unprocessed" (literally "life" actually), so I guess the same word works in both milk cream and any all-natural cream filling).
If anyone has any better word ideas (ironically, in both cases they're using the English words "sponge" and "cream"), I'm open to suggestions. Probably "filling" for "cream". But what for "sponge"?
Yeah, I think batter and filling work best, and that's what the versions up now have. (Frosting, to me, is icing, and they weren't talking about that.)
Getting a little lazy with not removing Japanese text in places that are not in a speech bubble -- just writing the English on top of it with plenty of "clear" border to be readable.
And I didn't do anything yet for when Stitch jumps on the decorative spaceship. He just says, "Bitaa!" It means nothing. ...and I should add an English sound effect to the end of page 5 as the cake stand begins to fall. It's not vital to understanding what's happening, though, so I'll leave it for later.
One thing I've been meaning to ask, had you heard of "face cakes" before? I'm not familiar with it, which means just about zilch, since there's SO MUCH about Japanese culture I don't know!! I was just wondering if this was a well known thing, or something that Lilo had come up with on her own?
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2008-05-15 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-15 07:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-15 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-15 09:04 pm (UTC)I mean just the CONCEPT that cakes are useless unless you put your heart into them... ^o^
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:47 am (UTC)And she doesn't mean any cakes -- just these special Ohana Day cakes. (The original Japanese reads, "Today's cakes".) This is why I wrote it as "These cakes are" and not just "Cakes are".
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 03:40 am (UTC)I'm sure by "sponge" they mean the actual cake part of a cake, and the cream is some sort of filling (they're using the same "raw cream" as they did when talking about the milk product, but the "raw" just means "unprocessed" (literally "life" actually), so I guess the same word works in both milk cream and any all-natural cream filling).
If anyone has any better word ideas (ironically, in both cases they're using the English words "sponge" and "cream"), I'm open to suggestions. Probably "filling" for "cream". But what for "sponge"?
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 03:48 am (UTC)BATTER and FILLING! Instead of SPONGE and CREAM.
Yes. This is good. I am an evil genius, yes? eh heh! Okitaka -- more edits to pages three and four coming in a moment...
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 04:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 07:08 am (UTC)...and I just posted pages 5 and 6:
http://users.california.com/~keeper/pics/stitch/s1manga5.jpg
http://users.california.com/~keeper/pics/stitch/s1manga6.jpg
Getting a little lazy with not removing Japanese text in places that are not in a speech bubble -- just writing the English on top of it with plenty of "clear" border to be readable.
And I didn't do anything yet for when Stitch jumps on the decorative spaceship. He just says, "Bitaa!" It means nothing. ...and I should add an English sound effect to the end of page 5 as the cake stand begins to fall. It's not vital to understanding what's happening, though, so I'll leave it for later.
Bedtime now anyway.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 04:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 09:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 12:11 pm (UTC)