Ha-HA!

So, sometimes, when we our out on Quest for Toys with Mr. Tikistitch, we find ourselves strolling the aisle of licensed, kiddified bicycles. We look at the Barbie bicycles, and Power Rangers bicycles, and Dizzney Princess bicycles hanging in neat rows from the ceiling, and we say to Mr. Tikistitch, "Ya know, if they made one of these for STITCH, we would be morally obligated to buy one!"

And he goes, "Haha."

And we go, "Hahahaha."

And he goes, "Hahahahaha."

Well, erk....

Meet the Totally Gay American Girls!!!

MILWAUKEE - A Roman Catholic school is canceling a fashion show by the manufacturer of American Girl dolls and books amid conservative groups' criticism of a girls organization that receives support from the company....

The American Family Association has called Girls Inc. "a pro-abortion, pro-lesbian advocacy group."

American Girls dollies? Gay gay gay!?!?

*tsk* No one had informed us. *pouts*

So we did research. Minutes upon minutes of research. On the American Girl web site. We were scandalized!!!! by what we found there! The site reeks of radioactive Gay germs, out to gay-icize America!

Regardez:

Felicity: A spunky, spritely colonial girl growing up in Williamsburg, Virginia, just before the American Revolution.

Spunky, hah? You can't fool us American Girl! We know spunky really means "the love that cannot speak its name!!!!"

Kirsten moved from Sweden with her family to the American frontier in 1854.

Sweden????? Home of ultra-clean streets and socialized medicine?? You just can't get any gayer than that.

Samantha Parkington is an orphan living with her grandmother in New York in the early 1900's. This was a time of new and puzzling ideas.

"New and puzzling ideas???" Yes, and we'll bet it's about alternate lifestyle choices!!!

Conclusion: nope, you can't get any gayer than American Girl!!!

Next week's exciting issue.... Heavy Duty vs. Baroness: Who's Really the Gayest GI Joe?