Don: the confusion begins

[tikistitch]

OK, so, I'm finally getting able to sit through one of these movies all in one night.



Thing is, it still takes at least TWO nights to figure out what the hell is going on. I mean, this one not only had Shah Rukh Kahn in a double role, part of the role is his one character is POSING AS the other character. ONLY, as M. Night Shymalan's puppet would say, there's a tweest.

Near as I can tell, there's a mysterious crime lord, and he has two mysterious lieutenants, and one of them has an mysterious aide, Don, who's played by SRK. In the first act, SRK kills a couple of guys for betraying him, and then kills Kareena Kapoor for doing a sub-par dance number. But then somehow, he fucks up and they catch him, and they hire some bumpkin, Vijay, also played by SRK, to impersonate Don and infiltrate the crime empire.

Also, Arjun Rampal's wife is killed, his son is kidnapped, he's framed for a diamond theft, and they shoot him in the knee. So, he does what any guy would do: takes off his shirt and works out! (I personally thought this was one of the best developments.)

OK, tiki's distracted. Then there's some dance numbers: the one I pasted above has one of the worst earworms. Those chicks dancing are Don's mistress, and his, er, other mistress. So, Vijay has infiltrated the organization, but then OOPS! The only cop who knew he was really Vijay and not Don suddenly EXPLODES! Whoa, he's in a mess.

But then Arjun Rampal (who we've all forgotten about for an hour) comes limping back with A DISK! And everyone wants it, because it has THE KEY TO EVERYTHING! I'm not sure what, but anyway. So, he finally gets his kid back in exchange for the disk from a villain dude, and manages to escape from two of the villain's fully able-bodied goons by limping across the top of a sky bridge carrying the kid on his back faster than they can take the elevator down.

And then Arjun and Vijay finally meet and beat the shit out of each other like a couple of HK action stars (despite Arjun playing a computer hacker and SRK's character supposedly being a country bumpkin, I guess they've been seeing some Jackie Chan movies), but then they make up, and it's time for ALL THE TWEESTS! 'Cause there's a lot. Including HELICOPTERS!

But, anyway. What did I think? I liked it! The musical numbers are surprisingly well integrated: in contrast to how they use them in Dhoom 2, which is more like a traditional musical, these are more like little music video montages where a couple of the characters happen to dance. It does grind to a halt at least once, during an Indian wedding scene (don't ask), but are you really gonna bitch about SRK dancing? This was a movie made specifically to appeal to an international audience, and I really wish they'd show stuff like this over here, even though my husband would probably flee to get popcorn during the dance sequences.