tikistitch

Today: how to make a frothy, frothy mocha! Yum!

FIRST and foremost, you gotta get a new espresso maker. Not the cheesy little plastic one you used in grad school - to make good espresso, the maker has gotta weight at least as much as the equivalent volume of lead bullion. Have your husband's relatives buy you one. If all the instructions are in Italian, then you know you've hit paydirt.

Now, like all good kitchen scientists, you must assemble your equipment! There's the espresso maker of course, and coffee, and a coffee grinder. And then your husband's Star Wars shot glasses to catch the espresso, and another cup to catch the steam, and another cup to froth the milk, and another cup where ya put the damn mocha whenever it's finally wrought. Also, the quick start instructions, and because the quick start instructions were badly translated from Italian (because this is an Italian espresso maker, remember?) also the full instructions. And also there's the water tank, and we forgot where we put the little piece that goes on the steamer arm.

And, of course, what's a mocha without chocolate!!!

Er....

OK, so, go to the store and buy some chocolate syrup.

Now we may begin.

So, first you turn it on and plug it in, of course! Since, you're not silly enough to forget to plug it in. And of course, you gotta fill up the water tank. And then you turn on the main button, and....

Hrmmmm....

Oh, the water hose was kinked again. OK, start again. Plug in. Turn on button. Turn on other button. Turn knob in counter-clockwise direction.

Oops, was supposed to put a cup underneath. Clean up steamy water from kitchen floor.

Now it's time to put coffee into filter. Only, the measuring spoon they gave us doesn't fit into the coffee grinder. Go searching through cupboards for another bowl to put the grounds into.

OK, espresso time!!! Fill the filter with that aromatic, freshly-ground coffee. Mmmm. Then you just hook it up to the machine and press the button....

*gah* Forgot shotglasses!!!

Clean up wet coffee grounds from floor.

Get out old-fashioned coffee maker, and make yourself a cup of coffee. Ah!

OK, Star Wars shotglasses in place? We are in readiness!!

NOW PRESS THAT BUTTON!

Yays!

Hey, does it look like the one glass is filling up kinda fast?

GAH!

OK, clean up wet coffee from floor. Pour rest of espresso into mug.

Hey, how did that get in there?

OK, time for moo! Fill up cup with milk, hold under steamer arm and turn knob in counter-clockwise direction.

*GAH!* Forgot to drain off steam first.

Curse and toss out milk. Clean up water from kitchen floor.