tikistitch

One arrested in snack attack; assault by Cheetos

Stand by. It gets better

The assault weapons listed on the Des Moines police report was a bag of Cheetos.

See?

Patrick Hamman, 22, of 4904 S.W. 13th St., was arrested Sunday on a charge of domestic assault. Officers explained that the victim of the snack attack, Michael Hamman, lives with his adult son, Patrick and that they became involved in an argument Sunday night.

Yes, he lives in MOM'S BASEMENT!!!

Patrick Hammon picked up a bag of Cheetos and threw it at his father, hitting him in the face, police said. It hit him in the glasses, causing a cut to the bridge of Michael Hamman's nose.

Perhaps the elder Mr. Hamman should have employed the Twinkie Defense?

The police report said: "Michael's T-shirt was also covered in Cheeto dust."

Covered in Cheeto dust. We just had to say it again. Here, we'll say it again: covered in Cheeto dust.

Via Pharyngula, so this counts as SCIENCE!