Robots in disguise

[tikistitch]

But, there were still several scenes where we literally started feeling our own brain cells pop.

Wasn't the lead hawt chick a tad bit old for Shia LeBeouf? Like maybe, a decade??? (Shame about that being held back in high school 'til you're 27 and stuff.) And then we meet yet another hawt chick who's also some kind of computer nerd doing...well, whatever the frack she was doing for the government?* So, Transformerland = No Fat Chicks? We realize this is all fanservice, but still. Are there actual female human beings outside of Hollywood and its retinue of plastic surgery clinics who actually look like those actresses? Talk about setting up the baby nerd boys with unrealistic expectations regarding female beauty.

Also, in regards to teaching the next generation, uh, Transformer crash lands into earth and finds an wicked kewl car to emulate. It's a Pontiac. Good god, filmmakers, how many pieces of silver did General Motors pay you to warp the minds of our precious youth?

Also, whoever gives Michael Bay money for his next movie, I want a rule: NO goddam flippy-twirly cars. Find something else kewl to show off the fx bucks.

And finally, and this is said with love, as tiki has watched and appreciated several generations of Transformers, nevertheless: Optimus, baby, you trusted a bunch of people who called themselves the Decepticons? The Decepticons? Hellooooo! If some guy comes up to you and says, "Hi there. My name is Darth Vader. May I be your Jedi apprentice?" what would you say? Why do you think he went by "Annie?" Jeebus.

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*ATTENTION: Do NOT, upon pain of banishment from this blog FOR EVAR, offer comments specifying whatever the frack she was supposed to be doing for the government. Either the movie makes it clear, or it doesn't belong in my brain.



NOTE: I've put my snark about the Transformers movie under the cut to prevent spoiler exposure, though on second thought, I'm likely the last person on my FL to see the flick.