In which we throw our hands up

What we know:



Well, that's a mirror.

( curiouser and curiouser )

Being good isn't always easy

Here at the Office, each time we go to the Little Scientist's Room (which is not infrequently - just ask the long suffering Mr. Tiki) we swing by the office candy dish...



Filled with chock'lit-y goodness!

Sometimes, we return through the other door, and instead go by...



Office Candy Dish No. 2!!!

With....more chocolate.

Ouch. (We mean this literally. Even contemplating forbidden food at this early stage in the recovery makes the stomach tend to tap out "SOS" in Morse code throbs.)

We explained to the admin in charge of CD#1 about our tummy troubles (she was boggled that we were taking a photograph of her desk, though, as she knows us well, not terribly boggled). She was very sweet, and offered to stock it with jelly babies instead. We explained that actually, tiki does not need candy. (Yes, this is a real true scientific fact.) We explained that we will put the images of chocolate out on the intarnets, where we will derive much comfort from the virtual candy. The admin rolled her eyes and went back to word processing (as we've said, she knows us too well).

Meat Packers Stitch

According to our handy-dandy translation program (which is never wrong - except when it is) this is the Prima Meat Packers Stitch.



(Insert your own tastless joke.)

We actually have a Prima Ham Licca-chan somewhere, so this company evidently likes to do mail-in offers for toys.

And, yes, we've already got one on order. Mr. Tiki has already dubbed him "Chef Ramsay Stitch," based on our own current obsession. If he's anything like his namesake, we'll have to hide him when impressionable kiddies are visiting.

We don't even really need to know what this one does to want it

But, just for completeness's sake, it's supposed to be a "desk cleaner."

How Your Stupid Slash Fiction Is Ruining Tiki's Life

Thanks to miracle that is TiVo, though a bit to the annoyance of our Not-Much-of-the-Liking-Trek spouse, we this weekend plopped our tiki ass on the couch to view, for what must have been the first time in at least a decade, "Operation - Annihilate!" In case you don't remember, this is the classic Trek episode in which the crew of the Enterprise bravely beams down to a Canadian shopping mall to battle brain-eating creatures that resemble nothing so much as patches of funny comedy fake vomit.

"Operation - Annihilate!" brims with Trek goodness, featuring sufficient hair extensions to lasso Jupiter, plus an early appearance by our favorite bit character, the long-suffering Nurse Christing Chapel. We had not recalled that this segment actually features Captain Kirk's brother (who, unfortunately, doesn't make it past the first commercial break - evidently the powers that be decided one Kirk Boy was plenty).

Anyways, we were just to the part where Mr. Spock is attacked by a particularly aggressive plastic spew monster. He gasps and collapses into Kirk's arms.

And suddenly, we just couldn't stop thinking, "OMG, they are So. In. Love."