Mar. 30th, 2012 07:54 pm
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[personal profile] tikistitch

Kareena is going to hunt down and kill whoever put her in that outfit.

tiki is doing you a service, since it literally took me THREE TIMES THROUGH to understand WTF was going on with this movie. Seriously.

So, first off, this was a box office disaster, so when you read about this film, you have to filter through the many pointing fingers. The general story is the director had this fine film about a father with three daughters, and then nasty old Hrithik Roshan had to go and get famous, so they need to, you know, show plenty of scenes with him wearing a really tight T shirt and lost ALL ARTISTIC INTEGRITY!

Well, sort of.

Here's the story: a Raj's wife is killed when she wanders out into the streets of London, where the cops (who as everyone knows, DON'T CARRY GUNS) are having a shootout. And, since she chooses to run down the middle of the road, she gets hit by a car. They next show her in the hospital, where the doctors tell Raj they're gonna pull her life support 'cuz she's braindead. She goes on to wake up and have a 10 minute soliloquy about how Raj needs to bring up the girls. Yeah, it's that kinda film.

So, anyways, daughter #1 gets an arranged marriage, arranged by Raj's nephew, Rohit, none other than Hrithik. He's an internet tycoon who likes to pose in really tight T shirts playing a guitar for some reason. Anyways, daughter 1 goes off and is evidently happy, as she pretty much disappears for the rest of the film. Daughter #2, who likes staying out 'til 3 am and worrying her papa, wants to marry for looooove. Papa Raj meets her prospective inlaws, who are batspit. He tells her this, so like a typical girl, she DOUSES HERSELF IN KEROSINE AND THREATENS SELF-IMMOLATION. Yeah, it's that kinda movie. She gets married, but is back by the next scene because OMG HER IN-LAWS ARE BATSPIT.

Daughter #3 is Kareena Kapoor, who DOES NOT BELIEVE IN LOOOOVE. Then she realizes, OMG HRITHIK ROSHAN, what's this about the love stuff?

It's somewhere around this point that Kareena wins a bicycle race and then goes off to an island where she's menaced by a crocodile. All her friends run away and leave her, and then they all run and tell Rohit she's in danger. Rohit takes a motorboat out to the island, where Kareena has cleverly thrown a T shirt at the bus-sized crocodile, and then crawled into a tree and fainted. Rohit saves her by putting her in the rowboat (still unconscious) and then tying a rope around himself and swimming her back. THEN they're both in the hospital about to die. And then Kareena is better so she leaps up to wait by Rohit's bedside, but he instead meets her in the hallway, all dressed in street clothes and completely recovered. By the way, you think I'm exaggerating, but in a 3-hour movie, the whole crocodile interlude takes less time than I've taken to write out this paragraph.

Anyways, now dad puts the kabosh on Rohit & Kareena it due to Daughter #2. So he goes and gets Rohit engaged to a creepy rich girl. Annnnnd, the rest of the movie (or what I understand of it) is trying to get back to true loooove. At one point, when his own rich parents lock him in his house mansion, Rohit apropos of nothing goes ninja and beats the spit out of a half dozen burly armed bodyguards to escape.

It's that kind of movie.

Did I like it? Well, the music is incredible, just chock full o' earworms. There's some fun dances and some utterly "what the FUCK were they thinking" costumes, including Rohit's strategically ripped black leather top. And, as I said, it's fully of WTF, but not bad scary WTF like Main Prem ki Diwani Hoon for example. There's also the added fun if speculating whether Hrithik and Kareena were or weren't having their heavily rumored affair at the time. I'll definitely watch this one again, though I might just fast forward to the musical numbers.


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